Here we go! 'American Idol - Series 5' coming to you live from Las Vegas. Well not really live, but it sounded good.
We are having a bet in my house at the moment about how many Elvis impersonators there will be, (did you know that a group of Elvis's are called Elvi!), the lowest bet is 5 the highest is 8 and I think we will see a group shot of loads of them (hopefully not singing)!!!
Alexia "Dylon" !?! is first up - he is trying to be a Rastafarian (I think he's on something, he needs to drop the fake Jamacian accent). He's not through - Simon says he is stupid.
Next up is a jester - Its a 'No' before he even sings.
Bobby May from last year is BACK 'Oh my God - this time as a talent manager for her sister Erica Davis. She's better than Bobby (but that's not hard), Simon says not great, Randy says cancel singing for the family please.
Next up is 18 year old belly dancing Mecca Maddison. Ooh, she can sing as well, Simon says very talented, Randy says very sweet voice, Paula likes her. She's through to Hollywood.
Ryan Hart thinks he is going to stand out - yep he does that all right. I think he has a split personality. Simon is bored and its a 'No' all round. Ryan is cursing about the judges once he's outside (well, I think he's cursing it's hard to understand him!).
Heather Ward is next. She works in a prison and she really wants to sing professionally - she's got a good voice (I think), Randy enjoyed it and says yes, Simon says interesting, Paula says NO, so its up to Simon - he puts her through to Hollywood.
No Elvis auditioners yet.
Jason Andino is next. He works in Vegas as a gondoler? gondoliero? Gondolier driver. Simon says No, Paula says No, Randy is a yes but he's not through.
All the bad and sad rejects are coming back to try again - if they didn't make it the other times why bother trying again?
J C Grey is back to try again - Simon says 'No 'even before he starts to sing.
Anthony Andolino is next. He owns 75 animals between him and his girlfriend!! Go back to the animals please they might enjoy your singing more than me. He's not through. (Simon says they couldn't afford the food bill, he he he).
Maureen and Marnelli Pearson are twins who really want to be in a band, Simon says the singing is dull and it's a 'No' all round. They say they are going to try again next time.
David Mandzak is next, he wants to be a performer. Well he has Paula laughing already - Randy says its a 'No', Paula says he is not right for the competition. He's not through.
Not much talent at the moment. Vegas - where is it all?? And where are all the Elvi - I don't want to lose my bet.
Haggie Yeddiya next - he's very patriotic - Randy and Simon agree (for once) that his voice is terrible - he's not through, he's very big on eye contact and he didn't get any from the judges. If he had he thinks he would have gone through,(was he going to try hypnotism).
Princess Breweris next she says she is a perfectonist and thinks she is like Aretha Franklin - nope nothing like Aretha. Someone stop her please my ears can't take it. She's given Simon a headache, Paula says there where some sweet moments in the audition, Simon said yes when it stopped!!! She is not through, surprise surprise.
There are some very wierd people in Vegas!! Very Wierd.
Taylor Hicks is from Alabama, he has grey hair. How is the image going to survive Simon? Well he can sing - what do the judges think? He dosen't look like a pop idol but he can sing - Randy likes him, Simon says its not just about the voice the image is not right, he says 'No' - Randy and Paula put him through.
Only 11 get through - what happened Vegas?????
Where were the Elvi????
Well here's something we never knew, aparently Paris is not that intelligent. Wow, well I never!