Well here we are again, American Idol Series 5 from Greensboro.


A two hour episode!


Ok need to check I've got everything I need:
*Kids bribed to keep quiet - check

*Snacks - checks
*Sodas (would be beer but I'm half way through a dry spell, roll on Feb 14th!) - check,


Right, we're all set to go......


First up is Sabrina Oakley who wins karaoke and apparently sounds like Faith Hill. God Faith Hill must sound bad. She's gone. Simon says she should be on Jerry Springer and Randy needs to be drunk to hear her.


Cachet Robinson is next who thinks she is the total package, she says she is a shower singer, Paula didn't recognise the song, Simon says get a soundproof shower curtain - she's out.


Kellie Pickler is next she's a rollerskating waitress who lives with her grandad cos her mom died when she was 2, her dad has been in and out of prison all her life. She looks good, she's 19 and she can sing good, Paula loves it, Simon says she's terrific and he really likes her - she's in. The judges say shé's a nice, special girl.


Shawn De Salazar (thinks he's already made it judging by the sunglasses), Simon thinks it was average and he should be a singing waiter. Nope he's gone.


Richard Garland has brought a dummy, a ventriloquist dummy, he's brought it for Paula! Well I didn't expect him to be able to sing at all - Simon dosen't think he's a star, Randy says he likes the dummy but not him and they say no - he's gone.


Ronda Jones next, oh God she's bad - she sounds like

Britney on helium. It's no, but she still loves Simon!!!


The National Guard is here, in the shape of Sargeant Steven David Jnr, Paula's up and dancing/smooching'- he's still singing to her, Randy's a yes, Paulas a yes, Simon's a yes - He's through, Randy says it the craziest show!


Fifteen family members turn up for Halicia Thompson. She can sing - Paula likes her, Simon says she is a natural talent and she gives him a kiss - she is easily through - her family goes wild!!!


Donny Meacham's is up now, I don't think he's any good (but what do I know) the judges agree with me he's not going through.


Kendra Winston, has grown up in Foster Homes, 42 of them! She has had an amazing life the way she has turned it around - will she go on further - Oh yes - she can sing. Simon jokes he wouldn't have sent her (ha ha ha) she's going to Hollywood (and she thinks Ryan's hot)!


Kenneth 'Chase' Bush is here now, Randy says he's a young Wayne Newton, Simon says he can see him singing in a dress, to which he said if it gets me to Hollywood I will do it. It's 'no' from Simon, 'yes' from Randy and 'yes' from Paula - He's through. Simon's catchphrase for this season is 'I'm not being rude but....'.


Cheonna Clepper is up now - she looks like she is wearing lingerie, but she's not going through.


More girls go through than guys at this stage. Eric Keaton out. Brandon Haithcox - I didn't expect that kind of voice bit like Michael Jackson's with all the uh's and ah's. He's not through. Oh some really bad ones - nerves getting the best of a lot of people.


Jeffrey 'Ryan' Baysden has kind of a country voice, Simon says he is the first Ryan he has met with talent!! He is through.


Cedric Robinson next - He's related to Fantasia but is he as good? Nope no way, Simon says its dreadful.


Paris Bennett next, Ann Nesbitt is her grandmother - who sang in 'Sounds of Blackness". What a VOICE - I really like her. She is definitely through.


24 through on the first day


Day 2 Its Simon's Birthday; they've got him a cake, but he still has to listen to the contestants.


Marcus Behling, is up - he thinks he's unique and different, but not different enough. The judges are cracking up - what's up with this guy, why is he dragging each note on soooooooooooo long? Simon says 'What the hell was that?' He has Randy and Paula's vocal coaching DVD which he uses - (Simon is now in heaven laughing at Randy and Paula), he is not going to Hollywood. Behling goes outside and destroys the DVD, Simon says its the best birthday ever!!!!


Jimmy Crabtree has no personality at all - his voice is all one level, how will he sound singing - not good at all. Simon says he has the personality of a hippo. Paula says singing is not the right career for him and Randy says not good - he's out.


Sammy Neighbours is up and apparently he is 'Raw'!!!! (whatever that means). He is so bad he should take his magic carpet and leave. Simon says he is like "Sylvester Stallones younger sister singing Paula Abdul". He's out. Simon has such good put downs!


Tyra Schwartz came all the way from New York City - it was worth it she can sing. Simon says very nice voice, he's not sure she is a star but that she will brush up well, and she is through to Hollywood. Lots of pictures of some really, really sad men.


Seth Strickland next - He thinks he is Michael Jackson (why would you want to be) - some one stop him please or get me a beer! Its short and sweet he's gone.


Oh goodie Hubby has just come in and brought me a Starbucks - Yeah! Caffine kick.


Jordan Southerland comes in next in a firemans outfit - wow did not expect that voice to come out of him, Randy says its just 'OK', Paula says 'yes' and Simon says 'yes' - he is through.


Rhonetta Johnson is next she thinks she is a superstar above J-Lo and Mariah. She can't sing at all, Simon says 'NO, NEVER', it's 'Nos' all around, she's out. She starts slagging off Paula as soon as she is out. I think there are more bleeps than words in her after audition interview - she thinks she is bigger than Paula Abdul, what a really nice girl - NOT.


That is it for Greensboro. Only 9 through on day 2 making 33 total.


Come on San Fransisco lets see what you've got...............